Pet Parade

This is Dogboy. He is so ugly, he’s cute. He is a great dog, the Cary Grant of dogs. He is suave and debonair and always carries a handkerchief. He hover-sits so as to not wrinkle his trousers. He is extremely low maintenance. He would rather die than potty in the house.

This is Stinky Weaselton. She is the Amy Winehouse of dogs. Don’t invite her over, she will get drunk and throw up on your rug. She pees out of spite. She was Catherine the Great in a former life and has a vastly exaggerated sense of entitlement. She demands your attention every minute. She has every bad habit a dog can have—she’s a barker, she’s a digger, she’s a chewer and a trash picker. We thought of the people we hate most in the world and put their number on her tag, but we can’t get her to run away. She’s an a-hole.

An Important Question

As children, we color, cut, and paste regularly. We squeal with joy when an adult pulls out the glitter or paints. We skip, we laugh, we dance. When something moves us, we mooove. We don’t stifle the urge to laugh, to cry, to wiggle our bodies to the beat.

As adults, we say, “I’m not an artist...I’m not a dancer...I’m not an athlete.” We decide that glitter is messy and a waste of money. We take up hobbies and take lessons and practice, practice, practice, striving always to improve, turning our hobby into work. We pass by playgrounds without any temptation to swing upside down from the monkey bars. We never skip. When moved, we choke back laughter or tears. We stifle the urge to wiggle to the beat.

Why?

I Call B.S.

When Lil Sweetie was a babe, people told me it was important to talk to her, that it would help her develop her language skills.  So I talked to her constantly, giving her a running play-by-play of what we were doing, what I was thinking and feeling, what we were seeing, etc., etc., blah blah blah.  I have now decided this theory is utter B.S. because I now have a 7-year-old who chatters constantly.  CONSTANTLY.  I am now treated every waking moment to a running play-by-play of what we are doing, what Lil Sweetie is thinking and feeling, what we are seeing, etc. etc. blah blah blah.  Why wouldn't she think this is normal behavior?  It is often very entertaining but on occasion, I could really use a few moments of peace.

Keeping Up Appearances

I used to try my darndest to always look put together.  I shaved my legs every day, even in the dead of winter.  I didn't leave the house without my hair and makeup done.  I was raised to be a Southern lady and that's what I did.

I never felt like I was particularly successful at it.  I always felt like I had a run in my stockings and lipstick on my teeth.  But I made the effort.

Nowadays, I have decided that it is ok for my outsides to match my insides, for my appearance to look as frazzled as my mental state.  Consequently, I have been going to work with no makeup.  No one seems to have noticed.  But I have had a lot more time in the mornings for reading and relaxing.

I'm not sure what the lesson is here.

More Therapy

Here are some more things I have been playing around with.  From this first one, I learned that photos and gel medium do not mix.  Next time I want to use a photo, I will make a color laser copy of it and try that.

This next one I have shown before, but I thought it was missing something.  Milly was right, it need something gold and so I added a gold cross I had in my scrapbooking stash.  It doesn't show up well in the photo but I think it helps provide balance.

This one is just something I was playing around with.  It's not my favorite.

This one happened by accident and I like the way it turned out.

This one is a nod to that quote by Ghandi, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

This last one is another happy accident.

I've always thought of myself as "not artistic" but now I've decided that everyone is artistic.  Don't get me wrong, I have no delusions.  I'm just trying to embrace the fun and play and creativity that I see Lil Sweetie use everyday.  I think it's a shame that so many of us give that up as adults and I'm trying to reclaim some.

Why is Open Adoption Attractive?

JemJam asked an interesting question.  She says, "It seems that an open adoption would be complicated and emotionally exhausting, could you enlighten me as to why this is attractive?"

One reason why open adoption is attractive is that in US domestic adoption, the birthmoms generally get to pick the adoptive family. If the adoptive family is strongly opposed to an open adoption, they may eliminate themselves from consideration. I hate to put it that way--it's sounds so crass. But when you are desperate for a child, it seems a small price to pay to agree to send someone some photos or to meet with them on occasion.

But the most attractive thing about open adoption for me, is that I truly believe that it is what is best for my child.  Lil Sweetie does not remember a time when she didn't know she was adopted.  She has had a photo of her birthmom in her room since she was a baby.  We have detailed medical information from her birthmom, and her birthmom has been good about calling the adoption agency and asking them to pass on additional information on occasion.  As questions come up for Lil Sweetie, we have access to answers we might not have otherwise.  

 

Contrast that to the way most adoptions were handled when I was a kid.  I remember hearing horror stories of kids who did not know they were adopted until a mean older cousin told them at a family gathering, or they came across their adoption papers in snooping through their parents things looking for their Christmas or birthday gifts.  Adoptive families had little or no information about the birth family, including medical information.  There is even a book (Identical Strangers by Paula Bernstein and Elyse Schein) about twins who were placed for adoption with different families who were never told their child had a twin.

 

In addition, open adoption is better for the birthparents.  Ashley doesn't have to wonder about how Lil Sweetie is doing; she gets regular updates.  As I stated in my earlier post about open adoption, Ashley is somewhat of a stranger to me, but I love her fiercely.  She did a very brave and beautiful and difficult thing when she placed her baby for adoption.  If sending her photos and letters on occasion makes this difficult thing the tiniest bit easier, I feel like I owe her that.

 

But mostly it's about my kid.  Lil Sweetie doesn't have to wonder about why her birthmom decided not to parent; she has a letter from her birthmom that explains it.  She doesn't have to wonder whether her birthmom loved her, I can tell her how bitterly Ashley cried when she let her go.  She doesn't have to wonder where she gets her lefthandedness from.  She doesn't have a fantasy that her birthparents are secret royalty that will come back to claim her and place her in rightful place upon the throne; she knows who she is and where she comes from.  That, to me, is what makes open adoption so attractive.

The Creepy Mom

Please, please, for the love of all things holy, PLEASE do not tell me how hot you think one of the Wiggles is, how attractive you find Zac Efron.  It's inappropriate and wrong and more than a little bit creepy.  Besides, Corbin Bleu is the hot one.