Today is my birthday. I am 48 years old. Am I sad about being 2 years out from fiddy? No way. I'm ecstatic about turning 48. I'm not sure why. I'm sure that the death of my beloved sister-in-law, Memory, at the age of (barely!) 51 has made me more grateful for every year. Still, it's more than that. I've been thinking a lot about what I want from life, what is working in my life and what isn't. I'm turning inward, looking for answers deep inside. Looking for peace and stability--that small still voice within. It's awfully hard to hear it over the din. And that's why I have decided to take a break from this blog for a while. I've had a love-hate relationship with it from the beginning. I'm a very private person, so putting my thoughts out here for the whole world to see has been somewhat painful, even though I blog somewhat anonymously. It feels risky to put myself out here for all the world to see and comment on, and yet, it feels dishonest, this blogging anonymously. It's a quandry. And I have such limited time for creativity. Blogging seems to me to be a conversation, and so I am aware of my "audience." I temper my potty mouth, my political and religious beliefs, my thoughts, my soul. In my private journals and creative pursuits, I am most authentically me. And that's what I need more of right now. As the Peas say, Imma Be Me. Offline, at least for a while.
Recently, at work, I talked the IT guys into giving me a second monitor. Oh my goodness, how did I ever function without this setup? I can have my legal research on one screen and the document I'm drafting on the other screen and glance back and forth between the two...no more minimizing and maximizing windows. And I'm printing a lot less, too.
Gin and Rosewater No. 12 fragrance by Tokyo Milk. Because I like smelling like I just stumbled out of a Tennessee Williams play.
Ingrid's Kitchen. I'm not a big fan of German food so I'd never eaten there until recently, when my friend Elle suggested we go there for lunch. Who knew they had sandwiches and cases and cases and cases of the most beautiful, delicious cookies and cakes and pastries? Yum!
My pimped-out planner. I was bored with the old standard page dividers so I took some thick, beautiful two-sided scrapbook papers and my tab punch and made my own. Now I look forward to planning my day. Ok, well, that's just a lie. But my planner sure is pretty!