Sunday, July 22, 2012

To Share or Not to Share?

I wrote a post all about how Mark died.  About what made him seek medical attention (chest and leg pain which turned out to be from an aortic dissection), the ten-hour surgery, the days in ICU, and the end.  But then I decided that not everything is for public consumption.  I worry about kids today who don't seem to have ever heard of the concept of discretion.  They put their entire lives on display for the world to see and comment on and pass judgment on.  It cannot be a pleasant way to live, and I wonder if it has occurred to them that there is another way.  It is possible to be authentic and be discreet...they are not mutually exclusive.  Not every person can be trusted (or even wants to be trusted) with every truth.

I started this blog as anonymously as I could, using pseudonyms for myself and everyone else.  When Mark became ill, I accepted all friend requests on Facebook, since that was how I was keeping the world updated on Mark's progress.  In the stress of all that was going on, I forgot that my blog was linked to my Facebook page, and so I outed myself.  Would I have done the same thing had I remembered?  Probably so, because there was no time and space to do anything else.  Although I have had nothing but love and support from the people I know in real life who are now aware of this blog, it leaves me feeling a little vulnerable, a little exposed.  I tend to be a private person in some ways.

And so, I want to tell you certain things, and there are certain things that are too sacred and precious and private to share.  I choose to keep their sad, raw beauty to myself, and the friends and family who were there.


Robin Thomas said...

I support any choice you make.

Honestly almost any choice you make.

You are loved, so loved. And you are enough.