How I Became a Mom - Part 3

After the adoption workshop in May, we began preparing for our vacation—a whirlwind tour through the South. Our plan was to start in Memphis, then detour to see Shiloh National Military Park (a Mr. Sweetie thing), then up the Natchez Trace Parkway to Nashville, then to Asheville, then Durham (Go Bulls!), then Pinehurst, then home. Our plan was to have our fun, then spend the rest of the summer turning our spare bedroom into a nursery and waiting for baby.

I’m sure God had a good long laugh over our plans.

Fast forward to June 12th, 2002. Mr. Sweetie and I had just arrived at our hotel in Durham and were lying on the bed cooling off under the a/c when Mr. Sweetie’s cell phone rang. It was Keira from Local Adoption Agency (LAA), calling to tell us that a birth mother had chosen us. We were so excited! Then, Keira said, “...and she is in labor right now.” WHAT?!?!?!?!

Turns out that LAA was pretty convinced that the birth mom would change her mind, so they had not told us that we had been chosen. Keira said that because the birth mom was in labor and because she still was insisting that she was placing the baby with us, they felt like they probably ought to let us know. I can’t remember if Keira cautioned us that the birth mom still could change her mind or whether we decided that was a good possibility because of what Keira said. Anyway, Keira promised to call us when the baby was born and we hung up.

Wow. Just wow. Nothing in the world can prepare you for that phone call. Mr. Sweetie just laid on the bed and looked dazed. I went into list-making mode. It’s how I organize my thoughts when the world seems especially spinny.

We went ahead with our plans to attend a Durham Bulls baseball game that night. On the way to the stadium, Mr. Sweetie and I started talking about names. We long ago had picked out a name for a boy (William Ryne, and yes, I know that no one likes it but us so shut up), but had never been able to agree on a girl’s name. I looked at Mr. Sweetie and said, “We need to come up with a name for a girl. I just know that it’s a girl.” Mr. Sweetie replied, “Oh, it’s definitely a girl.” Please note that not even the birth mom knew the sex of the baby.

So, we tried to enjoy the game while sitting with our cell phones in our laps so that we wouldn’t miss “the call.” We actually had a pretty good time...it’s difficult to have a bad time having a beer and a dog with your sweetie at a ball game on a perfect summer evening. But still, there was an undercurrent of anxiety and excitement to the whole evening that had nothing to do with baseball.

The game finally ended, we finally went back to the hotel, and no call. No call on either of our cell phones, no messages waiting at the hotel, nothing. We decided that the birth mom must have taken one look at the baby and decided to parent rather than place the baby for adoption. Sigh.