Friday, March 27, 2009

I Could Just Cry

Lil Sweetie told me that she wished she had white skin like mine. I told her that I wished I had brown skin like her. She said, "I wish I could take my skin off and put it on you and you could take your skin off and put it on me." And my heart went ker-thunk. I pointed out that she is a lot smaller than me and if we traded skins, there would be a lot of me left over "nekkid." We laughed, even though I was crying on the inside.

I know it is not unusual for a brown kid with white parents to wish that she were white too. I know that it doesn't mean that Lil Sweetie is rejecting herself or her race, that it is likely that she just wishes that we all looked alike, that the facts of how we became a family were not so visible. I know that she is beautiful, and that she knows she is beautiful. I know all that intellectually. But emotionally, I'm raw.


Milly said...

So hard but you are handling it all very well.

We love her skin!

Molly said...

Oh, this is something that comes up daily in our house lately. Who is brown and who is white. But, so far it's all been light-hearted. I am dreading the day it turns to something else. Our Owen has figured out that we all have brown and peach parts...Sadie's feet are pink, Owen's hands are peach, Daddy has brown "spots" or moles, Cooper's tongue is pink. So, that is fun...finding things that are similar. I am dreading the age when they go to school and lose their innocence. So glad you are going before us, sorry for you, glad we can learn from you though!

Anonymous said...

It is not unusual for a kid that is different to want to be like the majority. She will eventually love that she is different, I know that I do!