Not as Sweet as I Used to Be

I was raised to be a lady—to sit with my ankles politely crossed, to smile sweetly, to accept things without complaint, and to never, ever curse or shriek or scream. I lived my life this way for 26 years. And where did it get me? A thousand miles away from home, married to a man incapable of loving me. And why would he? Nobody loves or appreciates a doormat. Hell, I didn’t love me.

And then one day, something inside me snapped and I decided—no more. I filed for divorce, moved back home, and started doing very unladylike things. I went to law school and traveled to foreign lands and had adventures. I dated the wrong men and laughed too loudly and danced every chance I got. And it was fun.

In the midst of those adventures, I found myself. I learned to love myself. I still prefer to be polite and kind, but push me and I will not hesitate to push back. I’m not nearly as sweet as I used to be. But I’m much happier.