Monday, February 10, 2014

A Different Kind of Good

I won't apologize for ignoring my blog for so long. For one, I hate it when bloggers do that, and two, I've been busy. I'm sure my readership will understand. (Hi, Robin!)

So, what have I been doing oh these lo so many months? I've been Grieving. It's hard work. Hard. Hard. Work.

When you were a little kid, did you ever go to the seashore and stand in the wide, wild ocean and let the waves knock you down, over and over? Grief is kinda like that, without the sunburn. It's exhausting. Grief will almost drown you, then ebb away to just a trickle...a tickle in the back of the eyes. Then when you least expect it, WHAM! You're tumbling in a wave of grief, trying to find a way out.

In the midst of all that, I just couldn't blog. I did not have the time or energy or creative mojo. But I'm feeling better these days, finding a new normal. Most days are sans tears. Sometimes I even feel happy. Sometimes something—a song, a smell, the back of a man's head seen in a crowd—will bring back the "missinghimness" and I can hardly bear it. Sometimes even now, two years later, I pick up the phone and start to call his cell. But mostly I'm good. Life is good. A different kind of good. But still good.

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